- The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period.
- Oh, i know. My favourite topic at school. Invasion of the hot Italians. Yeah, i did get marked down for the title.
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- You graffitied the oldest cliff-face in the universe.
- You wouldn't answer your phone.
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- It's a Pandorica. More than just a fairy tale. There was a goblin. Or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
- How did it end up in there?
- You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
- I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.
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Never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence.
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Yes, OK. OK, OK, OK. Dalek fleet. Minimum, 12000 battleships, armed to the teeth. But we've got surprise on our side! They'll never expect three people to attack 12000 Dalek battleships. Cos we'd be killed instantly. So it would be a fairly shortsurprise. Forget surprise.
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- The greatest military machine in the history of the universe.
- What is? The Daleks?
- No, no, no. The Romans!
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- So... Are you proposing to someone?
- I'm sorry?
- I found this in your pocket.
- No. No, no, that's, uh... a memory. A friend of mine, someone i lost. Do you mind?
- It's weird, i feel... I don't know. Something.
- People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces. Little things we can't quite account for. Faces in photographs, luggage, half eaten meals... rings... Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back.
- So, was she nice, your friend?
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- No, I'm missing something obvious, Rory! Something big, something right slap in front of me, i can feel it!
- Yeah, i think you probably are.
- I'll get it in a minute.
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- Rory, i'm not trying to be rude, but you died.
- Yeah, i know, i was there.
- You died and then you were erased from time. You didn't just die, you were never born at all, you never existed.
- Erased? What does that mean?
- How can you be here?
- I don't know. It's kind of fuzzy.
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Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe. But bad news, everyone... Cos guess who?! Ha! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about, it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute? Because i am talking! The question of the hour is, who's got the Pandorica? Answer - i do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me, no plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else, i don't have, anything... to... lose! So if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship, with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day i ever stopped you. And then, AND THEN, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first.
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- Oh, you're the guy, yeah, the one who did the... swordy thing.
- Yeah.
- Well, thanks for the swording. Nice swording.
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The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous, and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles, and that's the theory.
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- What's your name?
- I'm... Rory. What's wrong?
- Nothing. It's just not what you expect Romans to be called. What's it short for? Roranicus?
- Yeah.
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- No! No! You lot, working together, an alliance... How is that possible?
- The cracks in the skin of the universe. All reality is threatened. All universes will be deleted.
- What? And you've come to me for help?
- No. We will save the universe from you!