The Mighty Boosh

[Андрей Луридов]

Howard: I'm a crazy man. I'm a nut job. I'm a freakball. You know, i break through the all boundaries. If i see a boundary, i eat the boundary and wash it down with a cup of hot, steaming rules.

"Killeroo", 1x1.

Naboo: Where's my frog?
Fossil: You smoked it last night.
Naboo: Oh, yeah.

"Mutants", 1x2.

Vince: ...If you get bored, just press the red button on your remote control, yeah? You can see me dressed as a hedghog, dancing away, grooving around.

"Bollo", 1x3.

Howard: What's he got, that i haven't got?
Vince: A moustache.
Howard: What do you think this is i've got going on here?
Vince: As if that's a moustache. That's a cappuccino stain.
Howard: How dare you? This is at least a mocha, ok? Don't be mocking my mocha.

***

Howard: It's the nothingness. The whiteness. The endless... ness. Stretching on beyond the human imagination. Desolation of the soul. Oh, my God!

"Tundra", 1x4.

Rudy: You are searching for something, yes?
Vince: Yeah. How do you know?
Rudy: I know all things.
Vince: Basically, i'm looking for my mate Ho...
Rudy: Do not tell me. Perhaps what you seek is inside yourself.
Vince: No, it's not.
Rudy: Damn. That usually works.

"Jungle", 1x5.

Fossil: I've got a problem with the black and white people at the zoo.
Howard: Who?
Fossil: You know, the black-eyed chinese people, that eat sticks.
Howard: Pandas.
Fossil: Oh, i'm Howard Moon! I know, how to read! I know all the animals' names at the zoo!.. Yeah, the pandas.

"Charlie", 1x6.

Vince: Do you know, why no one has ever worn two hats before?
Johnny: Why?
Vince: 'Cause it looks freakish. You look like an absolute idiot.

"Electro", 1x7.

Bollo: That was Chinque. He was my friend. As children we played together in forest. My father warn us: "No go too far, for there are hunter at edge of forest". But Chinque curious. He always say: "Bollo, please. Please, let us go to edge of forest!" over and over and over... And so finally, one day, i chopped his head off. Cup of tea, anyone?

"The Call of the Yeti", 2x1.

Rudy: This is not a dress. This is the sacred robe of the Psychodelic Monks.

"The Priest and the Beast", 2x2.

Saboo: Left or right, Tony? Left or right? It's a simple question: left or right?
Tony Harrison: I can't work under this kind of pressure!

"Nanageddon", 2x3.

Vince: Have you seen this review?
Howard: Vince, we do not need the words of reviewers to tell us, what we're about.
Vince: Well, that's lucky, 'cause there's no words in this one. It' just a picture of come sick with our names undeneath it.

"The Legend of Old Gregg", 2x5.

Новая стрижка капитана.

Howard: This is perfect.
Vince: It's your fault. I mean, you're the one who wanted to go by boat. Who goes by boat anyway? It's not the 1920's.
Howard: It would've been all right, wouldn't it? But you had to get in with the Captain, yeah? Go and have a look at the bridge. "Can i have a look from the front window? Can i have a go on the wheel?"
Vince: You're just jealous 'cause he didn't ask you up there.
Howard: Why did you have to give him a haircut, Vince?
Vince: It was just a trim. What's all the fuss about?
Howard: It was a mullet.
Vince: A mullet is a classic cut.
Howard: On a 68-year-old sailor?
Vince: Look, his hair was lank, lifeless, you know. I mean, it was awful. It was niggling at me like a loose tooth. I had to go at it with my scissors.
Howard: He was asleep.
Vince: I thought it'd be a nice little surprise for him. He wakes up in the morning, goes for a morning tinkle, catches sight of himself, "Whoa! Look at me!"
Howard: Oh, it was a surprise. He went mental. He was like Ahab. Got his harpoon out, started chasing me around.
Vince: Well, it would have grown out. It was a bit of an overreaction. I mean, who makes people walk the plank in this day and age?
Howard: Well, who cut's people's hair in the middle of the night?
Vince: I do. They call me The Midnight Barber.
Howard: Yeah, well, that's an infringement of people's liberties.
Vince: Is it?
Howard: Yeah. So don't ever be doing that to me.
Vince: I do do it to you.
Howard: What?
Vince: Who do you think cuts your hair, Einstein?
Howard: My hair just doesn't grow very fast.
Vince: What, you think it stays that length naturally? I'm in there in the night styling away.
Howard: How dare you do that to me in the night when i'm oblivious?
Vince: I do my best work when you're oblivious. I lean you up against the pillow and i go at you.
Howard: That's perverted.
Vince: If i didn't, you'd look like a Stig of the Dump.
Howard: You're a sick man, you know that?
Vince: It's all about context. I told him. I said to him, "It's about context".
Howard: I know you did, when we were on the plank. "Apologise or die". "It's all about context".
Vince: But it is about context, you know. Maybe on that ship he looked like a dickhead in front of his mates, but in the trendier parts of Plymouth or Shoreditch, he would have gone down like a genius.
Howard: Well, whatever. We're on the desert island now.
Vince: Yeah.
Howard: We're got to stop blaming each other.

"The Nightmare of Milky Joe", 2x6.

Hitcher: Do i look like a reasonable man or a peppermint nightmare?
Howard: The first one?
Hitcher: Wrong.

"Eels", 3x1.

Канцелярская деревня.

Howard: Pick that up, would you?
Vince: Pick what up?
Howard: Pick up the paperclip.
Vince: It's just a paperclip.
Howard: Paperclips don't live on the flour, they live in the paperclip tray. Blu Tack lives in the Blu Tack garden, Sellotape upon the Sellotape tree.
Vince: The Sellotape tree?
Howard: The stickier the tape, the higher the branch. It's a simple system. Everything has its own place in Stationery Village.
Vince: You are so anal, Howard.
Howard: Less of the backchat. Pick up the clip.
Vince: I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down.

"Journey to the Center of the Punk", 3x2.

Peacock dreams.

Naboo: Calm down, all right? Listen to some words of wisdom from Naboo. Let me tell you the story of the magpie and the peacock. Many years ago, there was a peacock and a magpie. The peacock had beautiful plumage - very striking, almost fluorescent in some lights. The magpie was jealous because he was essentially a black-and-white character. One day, the peacock was fast asleep and the magpie shaved the peacock with some clippers and glued the feathers onto himself with Pritt Stick. The peacock woke up quickly, realised he was disgusting like a ball bag in the wind. The magpie moved to the city in his new feathered outfit and quickly became the toast of Camden. He got a model girlfriend, a sports car and his own chat show. When the peacock saw the magpie interviewing Kirk Douglas he became very depressed. But he worked hard and eventually he got his own show. But he was on digital telly late at night and got poor viewing figures. The peacock could take no more and put himself in a cannon, firing himself into Duncan Goodhew's back. The incident was front-page news and the peacock became world famous, more famous than the magpie.
Howard: So you're saying we should kill ourselves?
Naboo: Just you. =) Let me ask you this. Do you remember Magpie Moments?
Howard: No, I don't.
Naboo: Exactly. But Peacock Dreams, yeah?
Howard: I've never heard of it.
Naboo: Oh. It was big on my planet.

***

Howard: All we need to do is find something that only we do, something that no one else does.
Vince: What, you mean like when we run around in our vests and pants and throw satsumas to each other?

"The Power of the Crimp", 3x3.

Howard: I've done many things you don't know about, Vince. I've lived many lives. "Many Lives" Moon, they call me.
Vince: Yeah, when did you exactly live these many lives? We went to school together, college together, and we've been pretty much working together ever since.
Howard: Yeah, you're forgetting a gap year, Vince.
Vince: We went travelling together.
Howard: Before we went travelling, Vince.
Vince: What, in that week?
Howard: Yes. I packed a lot in, thank you.

"The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox", 3x4.

Vince: I'm not interested in your wife. We were just in a cupboard together.
Dennis: Just in a cupboard with an extreme-sports model? I don't think so!

***

Постпоцелуйный диалог на крыше.

Vince: Thanks, Howard.
Howard: Thank you.
Vince: What?
Howard: Thank you for the gift of love.
Vince: It was just a kiss!
Howard: A light went on. You flicked my switch, baby.
Vince: You've got to stop falling for people who give you a bit of afection.
Howard: Don't pretend you don't love me.
Vince: Love?! Howard, you've gone mad.
Howard: That's what this is all about - me and you.
Vince: What do you mean?
Howard: The arguing, the bickering, it's because of sexual tension - the deep, powerful, molten sexual tension that's been brewing up between us.
Vince: I don't think it was.
Howard: You've shown me the way...
Vince: You're gonna fall.
Howard: ...given me the keys.
Vince: The keys to what?
Howard: The keys to a whole new kingdom. A whole new kingdom of gaydom! I'm a gay! I'm a massive gayist! Whoo!

"Party", 3x5.

Мы их душили-душили. (с)

Barman: What can i get for you, fella?
Howard: I'll just have a whisky, please.
Barman: Looks like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. You know what i like to do when i'm down in the dumps? I like to jump over the neighbour's fence, take his cat and twist his neck. Just twist it a little bit, then twist it some more, then kick him and then throw him down and then twist his neck some more. And...
Howard: Just get a whisky, please.
Barman: Coming right up.

"The Chokes", 3x6.

запись создана: 03.12.2009 в 02:31

@темы: тв